Brits' false sense of pride

So what if the England football team's performance in the current World Cup was so conspicuously pathetic that even its most loyal fans have ridiculed it.

For many in a former colonial power who arrogantly refuse to believe that the sun has set on their empire, it matters little that English players in this World Cup have become the favourite butt of jokes the world over, with God's gift to football, Wayne Rooney, anointed ugliest player by an international panel of fans for his raffish appearance and boorish behaviour.

 

All manner of excuses and scapegoats - including the disallowed goal against Germany (as though the team would have won but for it) are being advanced as laughable reasons for the greatly-hyped team's earth-shattering (!) exit from the Cup.

 

Characteristically, the unfailingly chauvinistic and eternally optimistic English media has found new claims to fame to gloat over.

If the media's claims are to be believed, Paul the oracular octopus, who has become an international celebrity for his alleged soothsaying abilities, was born in British waters off Weymouth.

 

British-born octopus Paul picks Spain as the favourite to win Sunday's final against Holland

 

Add to this the fact that the referee appointed for today's final, Howard Webb - sing Hallelujah! - is English, and its time for the party to begin.

 

The ridiculous logic for this faux pride would be infuriating if it were not utterly laughable.

 

Engaging the attention of English soccer fans, now that their team has exited in disgrace, is the emergence of a parrot - Mani (could it be of Indian origin?) from Singapore, where Indians reside in large numbers.

 

Mani's alleged uncanny ability to pick (or, more correctly, peck) winners in the FIFA World Cup has reportedly astounded fans in South East Asia.

 

It so happens that Mani used his beak to pick the Dutch flag, whereas Paul, the cephalopod, has chosen the excitable Spaniards to take the coveted Cup home.

 

So it will be Mani, arguably an expatriate parrot of Indian descent, versus Paul, the seer octopus who the British are claiming as their own, in a repeat of the Freedom movement saga thanks to the abiding zealotry of a section of the English media.

The sad part is that, in its double-edged nationalistic frenzy, the English media does their national teams and individual players -- be it at cricket, soccer, rugby, tennis, the Olympic disciplines or any other -- the greatest disservice by putting ginormous pressure on their players and creating unrealistic hopes among their devoted but unsuspecting fans.

 

Don't take my word for it. Just check England's performances over the years in any sport.

And place alongside it the trumpeting before any major international sporting event as well as the sour-grapes griping after.

I rest my case.